Damn Few an’ they’re a’ Deid

Damn Few an’ They’re a’ Deid!

Summary: 3rd part of my ‘Deid’ Series. Please read ‘Deid Til It’s Daurk’ and ‘Deid Fowk Dinnae Clype first’. Did Eric’s attempt to turn Glasgow Sookie work and, if it did, what kind of Vampire will the feisty, scrappy Southern/Scottish cross-breed turn out to be?
Spoilers: All books.
Rating: MA/18+
Disclaimer: All characters owned by Charlaine Harris.

A/N: This title is taken from a well used Scottish toast to patriotism and general Scottish awesomeness. Who’s like us? Damn few, and they’re all dead! I can’t find who it was that said it first, I thought it was Rabbie Burns but my Googling came up negative on that front. The details about Eric’s first child (who is mentioned in ATD) are completely fabricated by me; I have no idea when he made her or why they aren’t in touch anymore.

Chapter 1

Eric didn’t quite know what to do with Sookie’s body. With Pam, he had left her to be found by her family, knowing they would think she had been claimed by some mystery illness. But now everyone knew better than that. If Sookie should be found in her home by someone, they would know he had tried to turn her. She needed to be protected during her transition, if it even worked. So he followed the old ways and buried her close to the graveyard next to her home. It was close enough that he would be able to check her resting place each night and when she woke she would be in familiar surroundings.

One call was made to pull in a debt from the Longtooth Pack. They didn’t need to know why they were being asked to patrol the Stackhouse property and the woods surrounding it. Just as long as they did it an hour after and an hour before sunset would be enough. Eric turned, narrowing his eyes at the creaking of the trees and rustling of the leaves but he couldn’t see anyone.

Another Vampire hovered in the sky above him, watching him as he buried his future child. Up in the sky there was no scent to leave and the thick greenery of summer camouflaged him safely.


There were four of them. They waited downwind until the last check before sunset was made, then they swooped in with their spades. The body was buried very deep and they considered, more than once, if they’d be able to get it out and into the body bag before the owner came looking. Eventually, a gentle scrape of a single spade exposed something that wasn’t more earth or a tree root.

“I thought we’d been sent on a goose chase. Get it out quickly and into the bag. The sun will be going down soon and the Boss wants this in his HQ when he rises.”

The Werewolves threw the spades aside and scraped the packed soil with their hands. When they finally got the body out of the ground, one of them let out a whistle of appreciation.

“This chick is hot! No wonder Northman turned her.”

The largest of the group smacked him on the back of the head. “Northman wouldn’t turn someone just because they look good. This girl must have somethin’ special about her. Bag her quickly and throw her in the truck.”

Once their package was secure, they clambered into a black truck. It had no distinct markings under the mud, dust and dead bugs and the licence plates were just as obscured as the rest of the vehicle.


Eric sat in downtime in his light tight room. Tonight was a big night for him. Unlike some (frowned upon) Vampires, Eric didn’t make child after child. There was Pam almost 200 years ago, and before her there was … no, he didn’t want to think about that. It was too painful; 700 years still wasn’t enough to dull the heartache of his first child. But now … now he would have Sookie.

But what if it didn’t take? I didn’t drain her. What if she ends up like Bubba? Will she still be a Telepath? Will she hate me?

He shook his head. Why was he so concerned as to whether she hated him for turning her? Ninety nine percent of children hated their makers for turning them, sometimes it was as soon as they woke, other times it was a few nights later when they finally realised they could never go back to their families. Soon, the sun was low enough for him to venture out of his windowless room. He closed his eyes and tried to feel a connection to Sookie but she hadn’t risen yet, so it was a fruitless task.

When it was safe to leave, he rushed to his car and drove as fast as he could to her burial site. Upon finding her grave empty he threw his ‘welcoming pack’ to the ground and roared his rage to the skies vowing that whoever had taken her would pay and pay dearly. He followed the scent of Were to the road, and was able to at least discern a direction. Back in his car he raced along the lonely highway until there was an exit. When he tried to detect whether they had left or carried on his nose told him nothing. His fists slammed on the roof of the Corvette and his fangs itched for revenge.

Then the faint tendrils of his connection to Sookie awakened. She was early for her first night; he had to be there for her. As her Maker, as her friend and as her Lover.


Whit the fuck?

As awakening thoughts go, it was appropriate for Sookie. She had been pretty sure she was dying the last time she was conscious. She remained still as stone as her mind clamoured to make sense of the fact that it was there. She tried to move her limbs but they felt heavy, as if she wasn’t fully awake.

It’s either Vamp or Zombie. I can string mah thoughts the gether so it must be Vamp.

The Were’s lounging around looked at the woman on the table. They still saw no sign of her rising. Their Boss eventually sashayed into the room and sniffed dramatically.

“Even as a Vampire she smells amazing. She must have been one hell of a human.”

“Chick’s got great tits too.”

Sookie heard the voices but didn’t recognise any of them. She could tell that one of them was a vampire, even though she wasn’t breathing the scent was there washing over her. She wondered if this Vampire was her Maker, then remembered that children have connections to their Makers. There was one sure way to test it out. She pulled up the closest feeling, right up from her toes; the main one was hunger, and let it drown her. If this Vampire was her Maker then surely he would feel it?

Suddenly it was hard to stay still and the itching pain in her gums and gut intensified as the heartbeats of those on the room pounded in her skull. She yearned to leap up and sink her fangs into one of the warm bodies that were oh so close to her. She felt a wave of reassurance and a thirst for vengeance trickle its way through her. Her Maker felt strong, and angry, and he was close. His feelings overcame Sookie’s own sense of self preservation and she leapt from the table, grabbing the closest Were and sinking her fangs into his neck.

“What the fuck?”

The rest of the group scrambled for weapons as Hot Rain laughed. He was holding Sookie by the hair, two feet off the ground before the quickest Wolf could grab his gun. Sookie kicked and hissed, blood covering her from chin to breast as her first meal bled out on the floor. Hot Rain growled and grabbed at her with both hands, she was stronger than he had bargained for. He tried to restrain her arms and she kicked her legs wildly. He tried to keep her legs still but her arms got free. Sookie felt triumphant as her fingers found Hot Rain’s eyes and burrowed beneath the lids to try and pull the balls from the sockets. He screamed.

“What the hell are you idiots doing? Help me with this bitch!”

Two of the Weres grabbed a leg each as the third and Hot Rain took her arms. The leader of the Wolves huffed and glared at their Vampire employer, not that Hot Rain would see it with his shredded eyes.

“A new born, he says, shouldn’t be any hassle, he says.”

“Your gonnae rue the fuckin’ day ye met me ya bunch a’ fannies.” Sookie screamed as she thrashed against her living bindings. “Mah Makers gonnae burst the fuckin’ lot o’ ye’s.”

The Weres were huffing and puffing after the exertion of pinning her down but the leader found breath to speak. “Vamp, I don’t have a fucking clue what you’re saying.”

“I’m gonnae rattle your baws intae next Christmas ya dobber.”

He shook his head and struggled to hold her in place but it was hard getting the balance between being able to hold her down and his body being close enough for her to bite him. Hot Rain swore under his breath, it wasn’t supposed to go down like this. She was supposed to wake up disorientated but hungry – like a normal Vampire. He had no idea how she’d managed to be so alert upon her first waking but it had seriously derailed his plans to torture her and then stake her in front of the Northman when he appeared.


Arlene did the rounds of the bar as usual but kept close to the phone, as did Lafayette. Since they received a call from the blond Vampire a few nights ago telling them Sookie had been in a bad fight, they had been waiting for an update. Lafayette had tried going to Fangtasia to try and find out where their boss and friend was but they refused to tell him anything. The red-head watched as Laffy glared at Mike Spencer and turned his back to him. Laffy wouldn’t tell her much of what was going on between them, only that he’d been invited to a party but his shifts at Merlotte’s had prevented it from happening. Arlene understood that, she’d had to decline a date just last week because of her job. But the satisfaction of having something to really work for made it worth it. She no longer felt like she needed a man to be successful. And after her last man turned out to be a murdering psychopath, having more to think about at work had helped her come to terms with it.

Lafayette was getting more annoyed with Mike Spencer every time they spoke. He had told the coroner that he was too busy to get involved with his little group of deviants but he kept pushing. And that made Laffy suspicious. He was as deviant as it came but Mike’s desperation made him very uncomfortable. He had responsibilities now, he was an assistant manager and with Sookie recovering from whatever fight she had picked (for sure as eggs is eggs it was likely her who picked the fight); he had to rule the Merlotte’s roost with Arlene.

The door to the bar opened and Jason rushed in with hope in his eyes but Arlene and Laffy just shook their heads at him. Jason sighed and slumped onto a stool at the bar. Whatever Sookie had gotten herself into; he hoped she’d recover in time for Gran’s weekly phone call. If Adele called and Sookie was nowhere to be found, she’d be on the first flight back to Louisiana. No questions and no hesitations. And if Sookie wasn’t there, Jason knew that he’d be first in line for a tongue lashing from his Gran.


Eric had abandoned his Corvette and had taken to the sky to make his tracking of Sookie clearer to him. She was angry, just as angry as he was, and it made her easier to find. Whoever had her was not having an easy time of it. That made Eric smile and push himself harder, he was excited to see his new child in action. Sookie had been scrappy and hard to kill as a human; he couldn’t wait to see what she would be like with increased strength and speed. She was closer now and Eric was sure he was across the State line and in the fringes of Mississippi. If he’d remained in his car he would have had to go west then north then east again but flying had cut at least thirty minutes off his journey.

He landed in front of a ramshackle cabin and grinned at the sounds of fighting inside. The door was locked but didn’t slow him down that much. The sight that greeted him was … incredible. A dead Wolf was lying on the floor, his neck ripped open, and a further three Wolves plus Hot Rain were attempting to subdue Sookie. She was naked, feral and covered in a mixture of Were and Vampire blood. The kidnappers turned as he entered and Sookie fought even harder against them.

“See? I fuckin’ told ye’s. Ye’s are gonnae get yer arses kicked noo!”

“Indeed.” Eric grinned and launched himself at the Weres holding Sookie’s legs.

They had no way to dodge from Eric’s blows as he pulled out the windpipe from one and thrust his hand into the chest of the other. The last, and obviously most intelligent, Wolf let go of Sookie immediately and backed away holding his hands up.

Sookie lunged at Hot Rain, using his blindness to her advantage, pushing him, spinning him, hitting him in a different body part each time she struck. The elder Vampire was disorientated and in a lot of pain. Sookie moved too quickly for his other senses to pinpoint her location and fight back.

The newborn Vampire pushed Hot Rain to the floor and straddled him, ripping into his throat with her fangs and pulling at the wound with both hands. Pam, feeling Eric’s anger, had followed their bond to the shack and was mildly shocked to see her new blood sibling beheading another Vampire with nothing but her mouth and fingers.

Eric was smiling at Sookie, his fangs as long as Pam had ever seen them, and holding a Werewolf in a headlock. “Have you ever seen anything so mesmerising, Pam?”

“Is she … intact?”

“Oh she’s all there alright. I can’t wait to find out what her Vampire Talent might be.”

Pam rolled her eyes before grinning at Eric. “Isn’t it obvious? She has the same talent as me – being a complete fucking Badass!”

When their enemies were vanquished, Eric had another fight on his hands. Sookie was in thrall to her newborn instincts, she had had blood and now her other lusts were demanding attention. But there was work to be done and as much as he would have liked to throw Sookie on the ground and fuck her senseless, they had bodies to dispose of.

He made use of her energy, asking her to dig the holes to bury the Weres, she was not happy about it. At all. But there was no time to hang around and wait for the cleaners. They had to get away from the cabin and back into Louisiana before anyone realised they weren’t there.


Pam stormed into Fangtasia, looking rumpled and smelling of dead wolf. Thalia, Chow and Indira raised their eyebrows at her from their various places around the club but one look from Pam told them to wait before questioning. Ginger approached her, asking if she would like refreshment brought to her usual booth.

“Trueblood, A neg, but bring it to the office. Eric will not be in until after closing time, he is with his new child.”

The gasp of shock Ginger released was mirrored by the vampires in their own Vampiric way – a quirk of an eyebrow here, a twitch of a finger there. The news that Eric had tried to turn Sookie had been kept strictly between him and Pam. If anything had gone wrong with the turning, he would stake his damaged child and the community would be none the wiser. But Sookie was far from damaged. Pam had a healthy respect for her already; usually a newborn vampire woke and immediately searched out their first meal. But Sookie woke, considered what she was then tried to feed.

Pam considered that, perhaps, incredible clarity and the ability to put thought before instinct were Sookie’s Vampire talents rather than being Badass.


Sookie smiled as she wrapped the soft, fluffy towel around herself. She had spent the journey back to Eric’s Corvette wrapped in a tarp that Pam had in her sedan and the trip back to her house was spent wrapped in a blanket drinking the Trueblood that Eric had planned to produce upon her rising. She had asked Eric why he didn’t glamour a donor for her first meal. His answer that ‘they never survive a Vampire’s first meal’ was enough for her. Despite Vampires having more freedom in their movements, they were also more limited where many things were concerned. Eric insisted that Sookie drink the two bottles of synthetic blood before he called a donor to attend her.

Eric himself had attended to Sookie when they were back on Stackhouse land and comparatively safe. The scratches and bites they had left on each other were healed and now it was time for the newborn to begin her training. Her Maker told her there was no point in dressing as her feeding would be messy and her ability to differentiate between actual and sexual hunger would be non-existent at her young age. The man and woman that came to Sookie’s house were registered as donors and as soon as they entered the living room, Sookie noticed something very important.

“I cannae hear them.” She stepped forward to grab the closest of the donors but Eric wrapped his arms around her to prevent her attacking.

“We’ll talk about that later. For now, both of us need refuelling. It will be a long time before you learn to control all of your urges while feeding; the reflex to keep drinking is the most dangerous for the human. You will feed first so I can stop you from draining him and I’ll … distract you as necessary.”

Without prompting, the donors removed their clothes and followed Eric’s instructions. Eric watched as Sookie sank her fangs into the man’s neck and drank deeply, he placed a hand on the man’s chest and when his heartbeat slowed he commanded Sookie to stop feeding before forging into her and pushing the donor out of the way before Sookie could bite him again. It was easier for the humans this way. If he had let Sookie have sex with the donor, then he would have to interrupt both the feeding and the fucking to stop her from killing the man. Sookie’s rising had been traumatic enough already, and missing, registered donors were always investigated.


Adele, Betty and Jim were clearing up breakfast when the phone rang. Adele looked at Betty and Betty nodded. The odds that it was Billy calling to arrange another day out were very high but Adele didn’t like to pick up someone else’s phone without checking first.

“Hello, Paterson Residence. Who’s speaking?”

“Gran? It’s Sookie.”

Adele quickly calculated that it would be around 2am in Bon Temps, what on earth would cause Sookie to call her at such a time? “Is everything okay sweetheart? It’s awful late for you to be calling just to see how I am.”

“Eh … Gran, a few days ago I kinda got into a fight wi’ somebody bigger an’ stronger than me.”

“Oh lord, Sookie! Are you in the hospital? Let me get a few things in order, I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

“No! No, I’m no in the hospital. It was bad Gran, I was hurt really bad but … I was eh rescued, kinda. By Eric. I’m a Vampire, Gran. He turned me so I wouldn’t die.”

Adele noticed Betty and Jim had come closer to her after hearing her mention hospitals and going home. She looked at them and placed a hand over the receiver. “Sookie’s a Vampire.”

A look of disgust spread over Jim’s face. He had never met Adele’s Granddaughter, didn’t even know she had one until she came over to stay, but he’d been told that Sookie had gotten involved with a Vampire before Adele came to visit. Betty placed a hand on Adele’s arm and nodded to the phone.

“I’m not really sure what to say, Sookie, I’m glad you’re not dead … I mean that you’re still around but … are you happy?”

“I’m walkin’ an’ talkin’ … it’s better than bein’ in a shallow grave off I-20. Don’t come hame just yet, gie me a chance to get used to it. I’m no really in control the now, I widnae want to hurt ye.”

“I understand, Sookie. Just … just make sure that you tell me when you need me and I’ll be there.”

“I will Gran, you try an’ have fun. Gie Betty my love and don’t do anythin’ I wouldn’t do wie Billy.”

“Take care, Sookie. I love you, no matter what.”

“I love you too Gran.”

Adele put the phone down and stumbled into the kitchen before slumping into one of the dining chairs. She thought hard about what Sookie had said to her. Her Granddaughter was walking and talking, she might have to live on blood and only come out at night. But she wasn’t rotting away in the ground from some fatal wound. For that, she would be thankful, but she knew that others wouldn’t see it as simple as that.


Eric walked around the area where Sam Merlotte’s trailer used to be as Sookie left her letter in the office for her friends to find. She had tried to call her brother to no avail and had delivered a similar letter to his mailbox before coming back to her place of employment. When Sookie joined him outside, he turned to her.

“You had many plans for the bar. It’s … it must be annoying that you won’t get to see them in full use.”

Sookie nodded. “I’ll never get to see the weans playin’ in the family beer garden but there’s still work for me here.”

“After closing time at least. You’ll need to be very distant until you can control yourself around humans.”

“Yeah, yeah, so ye mentioned. How long?”

“Until you don’t feel the need to eat humans whenever you see one. There is no set time to this, Sookie, every Vampire is different. You’ve already shown this by not attempting to feed the moment you awoke.”

“I’m guessin’ that’s unusual, for my brain to wake up before my body?”

Eric nodded. “A newborn is usually pure instinct and hunger but you … weren’t. Perhaps due to the fact you were a Telepath before you were turned, your brain may function slightly differently.”

“It’s strange, not bein’ a telepath now. Does every Supe lose what it is that makes them a Supe when they’re turned?”

“The body dies and is reanimated by whatever magic is in your Maker’s blood. I’ve never heard of any Vampire who retained their supernatural gifts after being turned.” Eric cocked his head to one side. “This saddens you.”

Sookie shrugged. “When you’ve had somethin’ all yer life, it’s hard to be without it. Will I ever be able to live in my house again?”

Eric nodded. “In time, yes. But when you’re ready for that, it may not feel like your house anymore. Fangtasia will be closed, let’s go, I need to introduce you to the other Vampires of the area before resting.”


The Vampires of area five lounged in Eric’s booth and the tables close to it. They were silent and still, waiting for their newest member to be introduced to them. Pam striding into the bar area shook them from their downtime as she announced that Eric was on his way. Thalia sneered.

“It’s that little blonde girl isn’t it, the one who was here the night that Longshadow was sentenced?”

Pam nodded. “Yes but make no mistake – she is not a little girl. When I happened upon them tonight she was beheading an 800 year old Vampire with her bare hands. Of course that was after she gouged his eyes out.”

Thalia snarled and stood, slamming his hands onto the table in front of her. “She kills other Vampires, she is an abomination!”

Pam hissed at her tiny but powerful elder. “She had been taken before she rose. That Vampire had her removed from her grave for the purpose of torturing her. She defended herself better than some older Vampires I’ve seen.”

All of the Vampires who owed fealty to Eric quietened at the sound of a car outside and watched the back corridor for their Sherriff’s entrance. He appeared moments later with Sookie at his side and nodded to each of them before speaking.

“This is my new child, Sookie. Respect and protect her, the same as you would each other.” He turned to Sookie and gestured to the group in front of her. “Sookie, these Vampires are your elders and you will earn their respect, do you understand?”

Sookie nodded to Eric and then turned to the other Vampires before nodding in their direction. “I’ll try no to piss ye’s off too much.”

“As soon as you are controlled enough, you will spend time in the bar for the tourists and Fangbangers just like everyone else. There will be no special treatment for you Sookie; you are expected to help the area prosper and protect the area and the Vampires who live here, just as they are expected to do it for you.”

The newborn Vampire raised her chin defiantly. “I don’t expect special treatment, and I don’t want it. What I get, I work for and I work damn hard.”
Eric smirked at her and Sookie felt some pride flutter through their bond. Pam came over and put a hand on each of her shoulders.

“You’re one of us now Sookie. Welcome to the family.”


10 thoughts on “Damn Few an’ they’re a’ Deid

    • I haven’t written any new SVM fanfic in a long time – my mojo just got up and went off to find itself, probably backpacking around Europe or something. I’m trying to rejig a previously incomplete SVM fic and there are another 2 that are still in progress, I’d like to at least try and deal with those before starting a continuation of this. Maybe one day, but you might be waiting for a long time :/ my writing periods are sporadic and untrustworthy, I’m always apologising for it.

      • no, i get it. i’m from the school of thought, that writing should come naturally…you only get the good stuff that way 🙂 dude! i used to write poetry, but stopped one day back in 08′ and haven’t felt the need to write another poem since. so i understand if i have to wait for forever (or til never) to get a story/update. am i sad about. YES! but will wait 😉 haha

      • I used to write poetry too! Haven’t written one for donkey’s years though, I’ve been enjoying reworking Electric Limbo – who knows maybe my mojo stopped by to get me to do it’s laundry, I’ll try and confiscate it’s passport lol

  1. I had no idea you had written more of this until I saw a recommendation by Natsgirl. I remembered Sookie dying the last time I had read it. This is a great chapter. I love this scrappy Sookie. Hot Rain bit off more than he could chew.

  2. Hopefully you will finish this story….too good to leave unfinished!
    Thanks for everything.

  3. I followed a link for a different story of yours and found this one! I grew up in a Scottish town in NJ and loved reading your dialogue. Now I will have to figure out what happened to that link! Thanks for a great distraction today!

  4. Ok that was just awesome! Loved that she woke up, assessed what was going on, then acted the badass she was. That rocked! 🙂 Thank you, I have greatly enjoyed your Deid series. Cheers!

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